1 -Write about it

screenshot-2017-03-04-03-27-35-1

Photo: Katie Vickery

Having a constant fear of looking stupid or being wrong about something is hard. I’ve sunk to extreme lows to avoid making myself look like a fool in front of other people and I know I’m not the only one.

It’s estimated that 1 in 10 people suffer from disabling anxiety, shooting up to 1 in 4 within teenagers, and 13% of adults will develop a phobia at some point in their life.

Anxiety disorders could be caused by many things: abusive parents, neglect, abuse, major emotional or physical trauma, even just repetitive stress or your own body.

Here seems like a good place to point out that I’m not categorising anxiety as a fear of looking stupid, or embarrassing yourself. This video from Mind, the mental heath charity, is a very useful explanation of anxiety if you need help understanding the condition.

No two instances of anxiety are the same, which means that no two treatments are the same. I’ve been taking Sertraline Hydrochloride, an antidepressant in the selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor family, for almost a year and a half now and the thought of coming off my medication terrifies me.

The average time spent on meds is just six months.

I’m tired of the counselling services offered by the NHS. I’m tired of cognitive behaviour therapy and I’m tired of ignoring the problem and hoping it goes away. It’s time to take responsibility for my health and own my psychological wellbeing.

Until now I’ve been using medication as the sole treatment for my nerves which hasn’t shown fantastic results. If I miss a dose I can end up confined to bed or too nervous to function properly which makes my medication a crutch rather than a cure.

One of my biggest fears is that people will judge me if I say or do something they don’t expect, or think I’m wrong or ‘faking it’ which is stupid.

I am valid and I deserve to have a voice.

Over the next 52 weeks I will be doing something new every week to prove that it’s okay to not be perfect. I’ll find some strange and spectacular things to try and attempt to come to terms with being afraid. 

People say hope is stronger than fear and I’ve never believed them, but maybe now would be a good time to start.

Welcome to my 52 ways to fail.

2 thoughts on “1 -Write about it

  1. project impossible says:

    Hey, I love your idea 🙂 What is going to be your first thing to do? We all suffer from anxiety, some are just better at hiding it and ignoring it. I’m looking for some really cool blogs to read and you’re on my list that’s for sure. Also, I’m writing a blog, so if you’re available, check this post out

    http://idiotimpossible.wixsite.com/projectimposibl/single-post/2017/03/07/POWER-TO-CREATE

    and dm me on insta @project.impossiblu

    Liked by 1 person

    • wishfulkit says:

      Hi! Thank you so much for commenting!

      I’ve just updated with my next post, I tried protesting this week. It was a completely unexpected task but I thought it needed to be documented!

      Awwhhh thank you! I’ll go and look at your blog properly when I get home. 🙂

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s